What’s Sex Got to do with it?
Sex does affect
relationships, and relationships affect sex. There’s no way around it. Whatever
types of relationships you get yourself into during your teen years, from the
two-day fling to the year-long romance, questions about sex will come up and
decisions will need to be made. Even the decision not to have sex is a decision
about sex.
MODERN
ROMANCE
If you are
thinking about having sex, then presumably you are already dating, whether it’s
by hanging out in groups or seeing people one-on-one. Times have changed from
the days when people went to school, dated one person, got married, and had
babies, who would then go to school, date one person, and continue the cycle.
These days, there are categories and subcategories of types of relationships
that are pretty much defined by the social scene in your high school. Here is a
basic of the definitions:
·
Dating:
You are just starting to get to know each other, and it’s still pretty casual.
·
Goingout: It’s exclusive. You aren’t dating anyone else.
·
Hooking
up: You’re only getting physical with that person and not necessarily having
any other kind of relationship.
·
Friends
with benefits: You and a friend hook up on a regular basis but don’t want to
have a relationship.
ARE YOU IN
LOVE?
The word love gets
used as often as a question mark, and it sometimes even feels like one. That
said, often can be more passionate than adults and feel things more deeply (for
better or for worse).
Just because the
Adults in your life may be making light of it and insisting that there is no
way you could even know what love is yet doesn’t mean that your love isn’t the
real thing. (You love your family, but they don’t question that.)
Even if it is truelove, you certainly can’t let it take over your life. When you are really into
someone, try to remind yourself that the other people in your life still need
your time and attention. And don’t make any hasty decisions, especially about
sex, just because you feel all gooey inside for a new person.
MAKING A
COMMITMENT
One definition for
“being committed” is being put in an insane asylum –but it also means being in
a faithful relationship where neither of you date or sleep with other people.
Crossing the line into commitment is a big step, but it can be a really awesome
thing for you relationship.
If you suddenly
find yourself very attracted to another person, that may be a sign that you’re
not happy with your relationship.
If you are
questioning whether commitment is right for you for whatever reason, the best
solution, as always, is to discuss it with your partner. The worst thing to do
in any relationship is to lie.
WILL HAVING
SEX CHANGE MY RELATIONSHIP?
If you start
having sex a lot and find that your friendship is now overshadowed by just
making out and having sex, make it a point to disconnect your bodies long
enough to do things together that involve clothing. Sometimes relationships
fizzle out if there isn’t substance beyond the bedroom. If the relationship is
meant to last, you’ll eventually find a balance between the sexual and
nonsexual times you have with your partner.
BREAKING UP
A bad breakup can make
you feel like you will never smile again. Nothing your friends say or do can
make it feel better because they aren’t inside of you, feeling how heavy
everything is. Even though everyone has been there, each breakup is different,
and the way you deal with it will be different each time.
DEALING WITH
AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
If your partner
puts you down, yells at you, tells you that you’re fat, insists you do things
you don’t want to, or hits you, it’s abuse. If your partner scares you into
staying with him or her, isolates you from spending time with others, threatens
you, or lies to friends and family in an effort to control you, that’s also
abuse.
Unfortunately, if
you’re being abused, you might also be so mixed up about the abuse that you
have trouble recognizing it. The person abusing you might even tell you that
what he or she is doing is what you deserve.
It’s a good idea
to listen to your gut, but also listen to the people around you who care about
you. And in this situation there’s only one thing to do: Get out.
Hopefully that’s
something you want to change about yourself, because you are capable of having
all of the good things that come from a loving and honest connection. Sometimes
you just need to deal with your own emotional junk before you’ll be able to be
a healthy partner. If you’re the abuser, don’t get stuck in that pattern. You
deserve help, too, even though you might feel like you’re a monster.
This Article is
Taken From SEX
Online book is not Available
Written by Arshad.
A
